In order to become best friends, you have to cherish and adore each other.

(John 13:23; 21:17; I Samuel 18:1; John 5:20; 16:27)

 

Three phases of friendship:

 

1.      Relaxation.

a.    Fellowship on a daily basis in Bible reading and prayer will give you the mind of Christ. You will find shared values and ideals strengthening to your friendship.

b.    Qualities most valued in a friend:

                                                             i.      Confidence.

                                                          ii.      Loyalty.

                                                        iii.      Warmth and affection.

c.     Simple friendship is:

                                                             i.      Spending time together.

                                                          ii.      Having fun together.

                                                        iii.      Shared activities and interests.

                                                        iv.      Knowing and liking one another.

                                                           v.      Talking things over.

                                                        vi.      Confiding in each other.

                                                      vii.      Calling on each other for help.

                                                   viii.      Counting on each others loyalty.

 

2.      Rapport (harmonious oneness)

a.    The rapport phase has been reached when you are ready to share aspects of your life that are precious and valuable.

b.    It is the deliberate act of giving ones self to another so that the other person continually receives enjoyment.

c.     It is a time for sharpening communication skills.

d.    Some rules of communication:

                                                             i.      Never repeat to anyone the things your mate shares with you.

                                                          ii.      Give your mate your total enthusiastic attention and listen with interest while they become more comfortable in expressing themselves. Remember it may not be easy for them.

                                                        iii.      Do not interrupt them or jump to conclusions about what is being said.

                                                        iv.      Acknowledge that you understand even if you disagree and repeat their thoughts and feelings back to them so that they are sure you understand. Do not let your disagreement sound like disapproval.

                                                           v.      When sharing your thoughts, be careful never to give the impression you are heaping blame on them. When either of you go on the defensive, your communication goes took, and rapport must be reestablished.

                                                        vi.      Husbands need to learn to listen. Real listening means constant eye contact.

                                                      vii.      Spend time alone with each other.

                                                   viii.      Look at your mate closely while talking.

                                                        ix.      Plan on times when you will not be interrupted.

                                                           x.      Arrange for longer times of talking.

                                                        xi.      Pay more attention to your mate than anyone else when they are talking to you.

 

3.      Revelation

a.    Understanding one another is a life long process.

b.    Find ways to truly know one another.

c.     Who is your mate….really?

d.    What do you know about them?

e.    What do you not know that you need to?

f.      What hinders you from really opening up?