I want to challenge you to read an article called “Homeschool Blindspots” by clicking here! There are some very good points to be considered by each of our parents who love their children and the Lord Jesus!
I will give you just enough here to challenge you to go to the article and read all of it!
Many of these children were model homeschoolers while growing up, but sometime after their 18th birthday they began to reveal that they didn’t hold to their parents’ values.
Some of these young people grew up and left home in defiance of their parents.
Others got married against their parents’ wishes, and still others got involved with drugs, alcohol, and immorality.
Most of these parents remain stunned by their children’s choices, because they were fully confident their approach to parenting was going to prevent any such rebellion.
1. Having Self-Centered Dreams
The problem is that love for children can be lost in love for personal success as a parent. Our concern for ourselves ends up overshadowing our love for our children.
However, when we begin to see our children as a reflection or validation of us, we become the center of our dreams, and the children become our source of significance.
2. Raising Family as an Idol
When we allow the success of our family to determine our security or sense of wellbeing we are seeking from it something God intends us to receive from Him.
A great problem with idolatry is that idols require sacrifice, and we end up sacrificing relationship with our children for the idol of the family.
3. Emphasizing Outward Form
Preoccupation with results often leads to emphasis on outward form.
Fruit is born from the inside — not applied to the outside.
4. Tending to Judge
Pride is so deceptive that we won’t know our judgments are even judgments.
We will think we are just making observations and feeling pity, when in fact, we are looking down on others from our lofty place of confident enlightenment.
Typically, when we belittle others who don’t measure up to our standards, we will also imagine others are judging us.
Consequently, we will find ourselves frequently being defensive. We assume that others will think lowly of us for some perceived inadequacy, so we offer unsolicited explanations and clarifications for us or our children.
Children may grow up also judging others. Or, they may hide their real values, acting as though they embrace our values, when, in fact, they are simply seeking to avoid discipline and lectures at home. Or, they may see the shallowness of our legalistic faith that consists primarily of “avoid this, wear that, attend this,” and not be attracted to it in the least.
5. Depending on Formulas
6. Over-Dependence on Authority and Control.
No amount of parental control or restriction will guarantee that a child will turn out exactly as directed.
Like many of the sayings in Proverbs it is written as a statement of probability and not as a promise.
Winning their hearts means gaining the opportunity to influence who they are, not just what they do.
7. Over-Reliance Upon Sheltering
An over-dependence on control in a family is often accompanied by an over-reliance on sheltering of children.
In the last five years I have heard countless reports of highly sheltered homeschool children who grew up and abandoned their parents’ values.
Protecting from temptations and corrupting influences is part of raising children.
Sheltering is a critical part of parenting, but if parents keep it their primary focus, the children will grow up ill equipped to handle the temptations in the world.
This is because sheltering does not transform the human heart – it merely preserves it, temporarily.
8. Not Passing On a Pure Faith
It is critical for our sake, let alone for our children, that we enjoy a life-giving faith in Christ with no religious trappings added to it.
As I look back, I see that with my older children I was too concerned with how they were perceived by others. I saw their behavior as a reflection on me, and I wanted to look good.
9. Not Cultivating a Loving Relationship With Our Children
Relationships between parents and teens are weakest in control-oriented homes.